a little ramble on new years eve

well. its that time again. New Years Eve. I always have mixed feelings about today..
part of me is excited to see a new year, but then another huge part of me is really sad.
by now everyone is probably like, "wwhat?"
I am, as my friend so accurately described today, "freakishly sentimental" (*wink*)
I am always sad on this day, because I have an extreme fear of not enjoying things to its fullest.
for instance: I want to cry when I think about the fact that I probably won't remember every little cute thing my baby sister says and does five, even three years from now. It really saddens me.
so today, I always have the thoughts running through my head, "did I enjoy every single second? will I regret something about this year?" the thought that I can never re-live 2015 makes me think.
this probably sounds really crazy and extreme, but its something I constantly do. I was sad on Christmas Day because it was going to end. same on my birthday. Its always apart of my thinking. sometimes I reallllyyy hate it. I am so worried about if I am enjoying it to its fullest, instead of.. well.. enjoying it to its fullest.
but I also think its beneficial thinking because it causes me to want to enjoy things even MORE.
life is a definite maybe. death is for sure. we have a very short time to live. we could be here one second, and then gone the next. that easy. as fast as you can snap your fingers. I don't want to just live. I want to LIVE. I very often use a hashtag for my instagram pictures that is simply "#LIVE". I want to LIVE with no regrets of the things I wish I had done. Life is a beautiful occasion.
so,
eat that cupcake.
always kiss goodnight.
never say "no" to a new adventure.
listen to your favorite song a million times, even if that means you get tired of it.
cuddle tighter.
always say, "I love you"
laugh uncontrollably.
dare to dream bigger.
count blessings, not calories.
have fun. even if you look like an idiot in the process.
plant flowers.
carpe that diem.
never stop showing people how much you care.
read 'til 3am.
kiss baby cheeks.
sit in a field and make flower crowns.
send balloons to the sky.
go stargazing.
LIVE.

<< Aaliyah >>