IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY (BUT DON'T LET THAT STEAL YOUR JOY)



I'm just going to be honest with you.

Things are not completely alright right now. This is not an invitation to my Pity Party. I really almost didn't even post this. And I know, I just posted a really vulnerable and "HERE IS ALL MY FEELS TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT" post, but oh well. I'm not perfect, and you need to be reminded of that, haha!

A lot of things have been going on lately that I really don't feel like needs to be posted all over the internet, lol, but it has left me really disappointed and hurt and very confused. Just one of those things where you miss how things used to be, but you know this is what needs to happen, too much drama, and so many emotions and confusion that you don't even know what to do or how to act.

I feel like while writing this and the times I've opened up to a few people I'm close to, I'm making it sound like I'm really depressed and that's not the case. Actually, I am in the best point of my life right now. I think I'm going to write another post soon about my season of depression and getting out of that soon to explain this better. I have found a peace and joy in the Lord that I don't think I've ever felt before. But it doesn't matter how joyful you are, life will still throw things your way.



But I'm not here to whine.
The point is is that I have a God who can heal all this hurt.
My God will never disappoint me.
He never causes confusion.
And if he stabs my heart with anything, it's going to be with love.
He is One I can trust.
And no matter what comes my way, I know he is going to work it out because he holds my future in His hands. All I have to do is do my part in serving Him how I'm supposed to. He will sort out all the kinks, untie all the tangled threads. And honestly, the only way I'm staying afloat is because I know that no matter what, I can trust in this truth.


<< G O D ' S   G O T   T H IS >>




It's okay to hurt. It's okay to cry.
And on that note, don't ever hold back tears. Just don't. Some people think crying is a weakness, or they just hate crying, but don't. Cry. Trust me, it helps.
Lately, I haven't been able to cry. I've had every emotion at one time, it feels like. I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm disappointed, I'm hurt, I'm stressed, and even through all those awful emotions, I'm still joyful and peaceful. It's a crazy whirlwind of emotions, wow.
I can't cry. I feel like I have so many contradicting emotions that it's causing me to just be overwhelmed and not know what to do. Crying helps me. I don't know why, but it does. So I try to cry, but I can't. I just can't. And that just causes even more frustration to build up, lol. So a couple nights ago, when I finally could cry, I was literally sobbing. I haven't sobbed like that in.... Wow, I couldn't even tell you when. But it helped. Sometimes you just need to stay up sobbing until 2am. It just cleanses your soul, y'all. CRYING HELPS. CRYING IS NOT A WEAKNESS. TRUST ME. ❤



Back to what I was saying originally, it's okay to not be okay. But don't let that steal your peace and joy. The devil will use any misfortunate circumstance to try to make you feel depressed and hopeless, but guess what, love? You have authority and power over the enemy. You are an heir to the throne and you have full ability to throw him out of your mind. Don't let him whisper lies in your ear.

My pastor gave a wonderful analogy at church the other night. When you are in full armor (as you should be, right ;) Ephesians 6:11) and the enemy is in your ear, you can lift your arm and hit him with your sword. And, as I'm sure you know, the Bible is your sword. Defeat the enemy with the Word. If he is telling you lies, you fight back. Quote scripture. If you are fighting a battle, you have to constantly stay in the Word and feed yourself with truth. Because I know at least for me, as soon as I don't, I start to believe the lies. Don't let that happen!


<< Y O U   H A V E   A U T H O R I T Y   A N D   P O W E R   O V E R   T H E   E N E M Y >>



This post is seriously all over the place, but I felt the need to write. I actually haven't been able to write. Not even journal. I just.. can't. So this felt very good to get this off my chest. I love you all so much. Thank you for being so encouraging to me. 💙
DISCLAIMER AGAIN: I am okay. I am not in any way depressed, I'm just being really raw and honest with you all! I hope this can be an encouragement. 
STAY STRONG. KEEP GOING.
-aaliyah

THE PAST MONTH OF MY LIFE IN A SERIES OF UNEDITED PICTURES

 Hey, you all!!! IT'S BEEN WAY TOO LONG. I sincerely apologize for the lack of posts. I have had a very serious case of writer's block on top of a super busy schedule. I'm not promising that I'm going to be busting out the posts like crazy again but I am going to try! 💗 But for today, I decided to show you what the past month has looked like for me through series of unedited pictures! These pictures are in no way "aesthetic", haha. Some of these I have posted on my Instagram, but these are raw photos. You'll see that I spend time with pretty much two friends, I'm always at church, and it's just a good life, y'all. Hehe. There's no fancy formatting, just a good 'ole life update. SO LET'S GET INTO IT, SHALL WE???



OCTOBER 9TH, 2016
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On this day we went to a local pumpkin patch with my church family! It was a blast. Here pictured is my lovely friend, Kendra, as we get lost walk through the corn maze!



OCTOBER 14TH, 2016
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The first time I'd seen one of my best friends, Veronica, in a good while! We hadn't even talked that day but we ended up sorta matching, hahaha. It was pretty funny. 



OCTOBER 17TH-22ND, 2016
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We celebrated Sukkot for the first time this year. It was a lot of fun. We had people over nearly every night and we ate and sang and had a good time around the fire.





OCTOBER 22ND, 2016
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Walmart adventures before we headed to a fall festival/bonfire that my church was having. What a night. I love my church family so much. And anytime I can sit around a fire playing music with my favorite people is a good time. 💙






OCTOBER 27TH, 2016
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My church has an AMAZING food ministry which my family helps work! This includes a lot of time spent at church and late nights, but I don't mind a bit! It's so rewarding. 



OCTOBER 28TH, 2016
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On this day, my church attended a youth rally at my friend Dakota's church. It was such a good service. And afterward, they had a bonfire! And apparently, it's just a custom for their church to roast bacon (yes, you read that right) over the fire. I wasn't going to try it but Dakota insisted and made me a piece 😂 I have to admit... It tasted AMAZING. Try it, lol.



NOVEMBER 5TH, 2016
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This day my friends, Dakota and Veronica, were both over and my brothers had some friends over as well, so we decided to all walk down to Lake Cumberland. It's literally right through the woods behind my house! We had a blast! (Veronica took these pictures)





NOVEMBER 6TH, 2016
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To quote my Instagram caption, 
"If there were ever a picture to describe how different our styles are... I think it'd be this one."



NOVEMBER 7TH, 2016
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This day we took a short trip to Tennessee! My niece was visiting with us so we had to take her back to my sister anyways, so we decided to just stay the night and do some stuff! Veronica was off school for four days, I believe, so she was able to go with us! 

(YES I HAVE HER UNDER "FAT LARD" ON SNAPCHAT, VERYYYY LONG STORY LOL)


(When you try to get an aesthetic picture of you drinking your morning coffee, but your mom photobombs and your brother shakes while he takes the picture :'))
(THE VANS STORE WAS A DREAM 😍)
(last stop: Dixie Stampede!)

NOVEMBER 9TH, 2016
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My mom got my friend Dakota and I matching Converse shirts while we were in TN! So here is us sporting them, lol.



NOVEMBER 15TH, 2016
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I received a letter from one of my absolute FAVORITE blog friends!!! Grace Anne, this was so lovely! *sobs*



NOVEMBER 19TH, 2016
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 Little baby Mercy!!! She's growing up so fast. I just can't get over how cute she looks in this hat, haha!



NOVEMBER 21ST, 2016
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What else do you do on a sick day but play with Snapchat, watch Downton Abbey, and drink tea?!
And yes, I'm all better now, but it was a rough four days! I still wasn't even feeling that great on Thanksgiving. BUT I'M ALL GOOD NOW SO IT'S FINE!



NOVEMBER 23RD, 2016
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Some of my LITERAL FAVORITE BLOGGERS EVER and I had our first video call!! 
It was me, AbbieKatieRachel, and MaryShelley! Hopefully, next time we will have Olivia and Grace Anne join us ;) then all the "aesthetic baegels" will be together, haha! 



NOVEMBER 24TH, 2016
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And of course, can't forget yesterday. Thanksgiving! Here is a picture of pie, because honestly, the only decent pictures I have from yesterday.. are of pie... 😂




I hope you enjoyed seeing what my life has looked like this past month! It's been crazy, but I wouldn't have had it any other way! 
-aaliyah xx

LIEBSTER TAG (X2)



HOLA!!! (jk I don't speak Spanish) HOWWER Y'ALL?! (that's better) The first thing I want to say is that the response I got from my last post... I have no words. I almost wrote a second post just to thank you all but I just can't find the words to say, lol! I responded to them all individually so go check that out and cry with me :') 

But moving on to today's post! Julia from The Barefoot Gal and Grace Anne from Totally Graced nominated me for the Liebster Award, like, forever ago and I am just now remembering this draft :') So here it is!! I apologize for the fact that this took so long, lolololz

And I'm going to follow suit as well and not include the rules, MWHAHAHA! LET'S GET THESE QUESTIONS ANSWERED! 

Also, I'm just telling you all right now I didn't even pay attention to grammar so I am sorry but yeah *laughing emojis*  I JUST WROTE THE POST, OKAY?? (and what even is this format idk)






Um.. Probably nothing lol *laughing emojis* I'd either hand it back or keep holding it. DEPENDS ON IF I LIKE IT OR NOT IDK I'M NOT AN ANIMAL PERSON. *gets shunned by all my followers*



LOL DEFFFFFFFINITELY BE SNOWED IN THE LOG CABIN. I'll camp out for like one night and then I want my bed lolololol



UHHH.. Probably "dude" or "like" hahaha




Let's just suppose all my friends and family had to move with me, okay? Um... My "crazy" option would be Ireland, probably. Because I'm very much Irish and I just think it looks beautiful and lovely. I was going to say Israel but A.) war B.) heat I cannot handle, lol! But in the US.... Eh, I dunno.. MAYBE WASHINGTON, DC SO I CAN VISIT ALL THE HISTORICAL PLACES ON A REGULAR BASIS! But I also like Grace Anne's answer. "ten minutes away from where I am now?"
Yeah, I love Grace Anne's answer. I'd only want to move super far away if everyone I love could come too :')


lol @ u Julia bc haha all I can think about is our CRAZY secret-spilling chat the other night. Let's just say we know Olivia, Rachel, and Grace Anne better. BAHAHAHHAHAA.

So I have several group chats. I will name them now lol

1// aesthetic baegels (Abbie, Grace Anne, Rachel, Kate, Olivia, and Mary Shelley)
2// consider the goats (JacyRayn and my friends Veronica and Alivia)
3// BURNING YOUTH (every contributor of BURNING YOUTH blog that has an IG)
4// ^LIFT (basically another BY chat)
5//  the squad (Julia, Abbie, Grace Anne, Rachel, Kate, and Olivia)
6// THE ROOFTOPS PROJECT (JacyRayn, Kendra, and TJ)
7// unashamed fangirls (Abbie and Kate)
8// cooler than cool (Abbie, Kate, and JacyRayn)
9// the kidnappers (three of my friends Holly, Sierra, and Makayla)
10// #jessjenrach (JacyRayn and Veronica)
11// science rules (Holly and Kayla)

AND SHEW THAT'S IT!!! I only actively use the first seven, though. No, I am not going to include a snippet from all of these *laughing emojis* But I will include the topic from the most recent chat, "aesthetic baegels"

we are now talking about how Grace Anne and I are both Lizzie Bennet.
how very interesting, I know. ;) 
I PROMISE WE ARE USUALLY SO FUNNY IT'S UNBEARABLE.



Eh, I was gonna say chicken pox all the way because when I was younger and I got poison ivy it was always EXTREMELY bad but now I don't get it bad at all. So probably poison ivy because chicken pox would be worse for me.

I mean I almost cried the other night when I sang in front of my church??? So maybe that's what I do??? lol. Or if it's meeting a new person I'll say really awkward things. I breathe deeply. And I noticed lately that I wring my hands? I'm just always doing something with my hands idek.

Ehh. Yeah..? Ish?? It never has any sort of rhythm. More like random thoughts written in an eloquent way (or at least I try to make it eloquent but I actually fail). But I decided I'll include some links because I kinda just gave my poetry journal away to a certain friend...? hehe SO HERE:
read dis // dis // and dis if you want


Hmmm... Hmmmmmm... HHMMMMMM....
Sunday morning service because uhh hello JESUS. Possibly seeing a friend later this evening. Definitely having another friend come over today until Tuesday (honestly the only good thing that's come out of Election Day is that she can come spend four days with me :')). And I'm sure I'm forgetting something else I'm excited about.


OKAY. That's the end of Julia's questions, now on to Grace's!





White and pink. Probably the only pink thing I use daily.

My shoulders have a mind of their own, okay? There are some songs my shoulders just love. I have a shoulder move for like every beat for the majority of "Looking For America" by Switchfoot, for instance. So yeah, my shoulders can dance but that's about it. I think I sent a video to Jacy of me dancing in the kitchen while making tea so maybe ask her how I dance. *eyes very wide*
So probably like this:


Uh..... Uh.... Uhhhh.... Hopefully, it has to do with music? Idk. I'm an INFJ, I don't like the idea of being famous, you feel? But just like Grace Anne, I'd probably end up being famous for something stupid, lol



Uh, idk??? "vote for me and you will get buffalo dip every day" ????


Seeing as my dad is bald, you would think I would know. Buttttt I don't. I assume shampoo..?



This is a super hard question for me because there are just too many musicians to choose from. However, the first person that came to mind was Jon Foreman (I actually screamed this in my head). I WOULD LITERALLY WANT TO CRY IF I MET JON FOREMAN. Or Bear Reinhart or Jordan from Blimey Cow would make my life as well. Hmmm... Probably still Jon, though!! But I actually hate selfies and I'm an introvert so hopefully, he would offer first *laughing emojis* 



Seeing how many carbs you can eat in a day is a sport, right?


"I'm certain you've heard it before" (and I feel like you all would appreciate knowing that I have Siri's voice set to a British accent) (yes) (you're welcome)

Welp. I thought I had my answer but then Grace Anne said this, 
"But then if you were invisible you could listen to any conversation you wanted and like you could get into shows and concerts and travel and stuff like that for FREE."
LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THIS NOW??? FREE CONCERTS???? I'd still probably have to choose the ability to read minds. I always am so scared of what people think of me and most likely it's not as bad as I think but I don't have proof so therefore I always live in fear do you see how this is a problem for me???? But then again... Would you really want to be able to read people's minds sometimes..? I REALLY DON'T KNOW OKAY.



HAHAHHAA!! I GOT THE SAME ANSWER AS GRACE ANNE :') I've taken so many Pride and Prejudice quizzes and I've gotten Elizabeth every time. Except for once, I got Jane (which I think I am both, actually). So yeah, I got Elizabeth Bennet.
"You are as admirable as you are stubborn. Even in the face of great adversity, you never comprise your morals and you firmly believe in marrying for love rather than for security. At times, you can be quite difficult to please, but that's simply because you're a richly complex and intelligent person. Plus, your sense of humor is positively delightful as are your dancing skills." 



OKAY SO YEAH THAT'S THE END OF THIS POST.  I hope you enjoyed reading my answers :')
THANKS AGAIN TO JULIA AND GRACE ANNE I LOVE YOU BOTH YOU TWO ARE FABULOUS. <3

-aaliyah