INADEQUACY

*WARNING: i tried to make this coherent but failed ok forgive me please*

I have been thinking a lot lately about inadequacy.
Why do we always feel inadequate..? Or even adequate?

I find myself feeling so inadequate a lot and it's been on my mind non-stop for about a week now.
This is a post to me. I sincerely hope it encourages you but honestly, I need this just as much as the next person. Like, seriously, please throw this post in my face once a month. I struggle a lot with thinking if I'm not perfect at something, what's the point in sharing my gifts or continuing to pursue them? That's such a wrong mindset! But I will elaborate later.


I thought I'd start by giving the definitions of inadequate and adequate because this is what got me thinking
and made me realize we shouldn't feel "adequate" either.


in·ad·e·quate
inˈadikwət/
adjective
lacking the quality or quantity required; insufficient for a purpose.

ad·e·quate
/ˈadəkwət/
adjective
  1. satisfactory or acceptable in quality or quantity.


So you see? Even feeling "adequate" isn't right. 
Being adequate is simply being "satisfactory" or "acceptable". UH NO??? We are so much more than that!
Let me tell you this: no one on the face of this earth can do YOU! No one else can ever play music like you, paint like you, write like you, sing like you, photograph like you. No one! You are so unique in the way you do you. Isn't that amazing?! I think that is so awesome! But we don't always remember that.. do we.. ? See, that's the problem with me. I hear all this wonderful advice but I never hardly actually use it. It's really unfortunate. I hate it. I beat myself up a lot about it. BUT THAT'S ME GOING ON A RABBIT TRAIL.

Why do we feel like we are so inadequate?
Why should we ever feel that someone else can do our job better than we can? Because pay attention really close now: they can't. You have a purpose no one else can fulfill and no matter what you say or try to believe, they cannot do things how you can.



Have you ever noticed that even if you trace a piece of someone else's art it still never looks the same? (I mean unless, of course, you have a profession in tracing or something but YA KNOW.) That's because you cannot possibly do something the exact same way as someone else. And that, my friend, is awesome. We should take pride in our uniqueness instead of wishing we had someone else's talent. (Even though uh, homegirl does this wayyy too much.) Trust me, this is hard! As a self-proclaimed musician, I get the opportunity to do this a lot. I see other people or friends who play the same instrument as I do and I hear them play and think, "Wow, I don't even want to play now because I cannot possibly compare to them." Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhyyyy do we do this? Why do I do this?

I recently was talking to a close friend of mine about this and I said something along the lines of, "Could you imagine if people didn't compare themselves to other people, believed in themselves, and fear wasn't a thing?!" I wonder about this a lot. And that conversation was really the starting point of this post. What if you didn't compare yourself to others? What if you believed in yourself? What if fear wasn't a thing? What would you do? If that doesn't get you thinking I don't know what will!

Whatever your gift is, you are FABULOUS at it. Do not, please, feel inadequate. You do you. Let them do them.



Also: Please don't give up on something just because your first draft, song, recipe, whatever isn't perfect. The saying, "practice makes perfect" is actually true. Please remind me of this once a month, though, because I somehow always tend to forget this. I am so bad at expecting to be instantly fantastic at something at the first try. Unless you are a literal prodigy, this doesn't really happen. Your first blog post (unless you've had experience or just an all around majestic person unlike me) will most likely be so bad. You will look bad four years from now (trust me, I know) and laugh really hard at how shy you were, grammar, and just your overall weirdness. Your first poem may not rhyme too well, your choice of words will probably not be the best, but you have to start somewhere. All the people you admire --whether that be friends, family, or Picasso-- they all had to start somewhere and they sure didn't start at Perfection. I look back on the things I wrote, drew, or photographed a year ago and say, "Shew! I came a loonngggg way!" Remember this whenever you start something new!



The thing is, we will feel inadequate (or even adequate) a lot. That's just reality. We are human. No matter how much encouragement, pep talks, or pieces of advice we get, in the end we have to make the decision to follow through. It's all up to you. And like I've said about three times so far, please remind me of this at least once a month because I never seem to remember. We make the decisions on the things we do, think, and believe. Believe you are more than adequate. Know you are special. Accept your individuality and love it.

I'll leave you again with this:
What if you didn't compare yourself to others? What if you believed in yourself? What if fear wasn't a thing?


a xx
(all photos via my pinterest)




33 comments :

  1. ...Oh my gosh, Aaliyah. How on earth did you peek into my brain and write exactly what I needed to read?

    Comparison is SO HARD. Ugh. But you're right- we have to make the decision to follow through. Thank you for this wonderful post, Aaliyah:)

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    1. Ohmygoodness. Thank you SO much. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for your comment :) It truly made my day.

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  2. AALIYAH this post is perfect ❤️ This is something I struggle with so much — thank you for encouraging me! :)

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    1. UGH MARYSHELLEY THANK YOU!!! I struggle with it so much as well... You're so welcome for the encouragement :)

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  3. Those are really good thoughts, and something I think we all struggle with. I know I do - especially comparing myself to others who play the same instrument as me. And that line What if fear wasn't a thing? Yes, because we've got an all-powerful, loving God on our team, why should we be afraid?

    Anyway, I've obviously lost coherence too. Basically: this post is really good, and given me a lot to think about. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :)

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    1. Jessica, thank you! Yes, I have a really hard time comparing myself to other musicians. It's hard! Yes, that line!! I just want to plaster it everywhere to remind myself!!!

      Thank you again :)

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  4. Love this <3 it's so true. I think sometimes though a certain level of inadequacy is better than adequacy- first of all so we remember God as our focus and secondly to propel us to be better! The feeling isn't the bad part- its the fear, the letting it hold us back instead of using it for good, is the bad part. This is a great and thought provoking post(and I can tell took a lot of thoughtful writing).

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    1. Amen! Thank you so much for commenting such sweet compliments! It made my day 10x brighter!!

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  5. Replies
    1. you two

      I can't

      I just can't handle

      ily you guys

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  6. that quote comparison is the thief of joy is so. true. gah. this post is so needed. like all of the times. thanks for sharing :')
    ps i think you're pretty freaking fabulous too

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    1. I WAS LITERALLY JUST THINKING THIS MORNING THAT I SHOULD HAVE PUT THAT QUOTE IN THERE :'''''') BLESS.

      UGH YOU'RE SO SWEET AND AMAZING, OLIVIA KNIGHT :'''')

      ps you're the greatest thing since hawaiian rolls so that's pretty fabulous

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  7. wow, yes. i love what you said at the end about "what if fear wasn't a thing?" like..wow. that's heavy. the world would be such a different place. but, even if it can't be the world, it could be me. i mean, how many times do i pin quotes about living fearless and whatnot, but how do i LIVE it out? Thank you for this post, Aaliyah <3 i can tell you put a lot of hard work into it, and it's lovely.

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    1. Yes. That's my favorite line out of the entire post. It's so thought-provoking! I agree entirely. but, even if it can't be the world, it could be me. <<<YES. My thoughts exactly.

      You're so welcome for this post :) I thought I would burst if I didn't write it :))

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  8. I love this. and you.
    I admire your ability to write a post so deep and meaningful.
    <3 <3

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    1. ohmygoodness I love you too!!
      Thank you so much :))

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  9. Cassie6/08/2016

    Yes yes yes!! I've been really struggling with feeling like a disappointment lately so the timing on this is perfect!!

    Also, your writing style is adorable :)

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    1. Thank you so much for your sweet comment, Cassie!! I am so glad this encouraged you :)

      And haha, thank you!!!

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  10. WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT JUS HAPPENED TO MY HEADD. Like dude. If you think you failed at making this post coherent then just watCH ME SUFFER AND FAIL AND SCREAM AS I ATTEMPT TO MAKE A COMMENT COHERENT AFTER SOMETHING LIKE THIS JUST HIT ME IN THE FACE LIKE WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. <3 <3 <3



    i can't


    ALSO YOU REACHED 100 FOLLOWERS ON THE GOOGLE FRIEND CONNECT THING DOWN THERE!! *CONFETTI AND I'M GETTING DISTRACTED HEYO* I honestly have no idea how long that was like that tho.<3 I LOVE THIS SO MUCH LIKE I CANNOT EVEN TYPE FAST EEVNOUGH FOR MY THOUGHTS SO I'M VERY SORRY FOR ALL THE YTYPSOS OMG

    "I hear all this wonderful advice but I never hardly actually use it. It's really unfortunate. I hate it. I beat myself up a lot about it. BUT THAT'S ME GOING ON A RABBIT TRAIL." <<< NO NO NO THAT IS YOU LITERALLY TRANSLATING MY INNERMOST THOUGHTS THAT I DON'T SHARE WITH ANYONE AND POSTING THEM ON YOUR BLOG. LIKE HOW DID YOU DO THAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE POLICE OF MY KINGDOM WOULD LIKE TO KNOW (THE UNICORN POLICE THAT IS :') muahahaha) BUT seriously howW??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I've been struggling with this soooo much lately. Like learning all these wonderful beautiful amazing things that are so much TRUTH and so much RESONANCE but they tend to not sink any deeper than my brain?? I WANT THEM IN MY HEART. I want to really know wut up because that's the only way I'll be able to live it. <3

    ALSO THE THING ABOUT TRACING/SKETCHING AND STUFF. It reminded me so much of my aunt, who is an UNBELIEVABLY TALENTED artist. Like she lives far away from us, but last time we visited, she was showing us these paintings she did and OH MY WORD you could have mistaken them for a Renoir or Degas or something -- like LITERALLY THAT GOOD. But when she talked about how she painted them, she kept saying "oh I just copied this picture, I just copied this picture, it's not really mine." And I kept thinking "WHAT?? WHAAAAT? WHAAAAAAAT?!?!!" BECAUSE THESE WERE PAINTINGS THEY LOOKED NOTHING LIKE LOUSY PHOTOGRAPHS IN A MAGAZINE CLIPPING. THEY WERE STUNNING. but she still couldn't see them as something special and unique. << ANYWAY WOW SPEAKING OF BUNNY TRAILS HAHA. But I just saw that parallel as I was reading and thought I would share. :) because how oven do I do that? How often do we all do that?? I WANT TO STOP I NEED TO STOP. but sometimes I feel like with everything I create I'm just like, "it's not really special. it's not really mine." AND I NEED TO STOP. HELP.

    this is really really really really really really really really beautiful. <3 like you. omg. waht

    lotsalove,
    abbiee

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    1. ABBBBBIIIIIIEEEEEE! I LOVE YOU!

      AND YES I JUST LIKE A COUPLE DAYS AGO REACHED 100 AND I THINK I CRIED :''''') THANK YOU!!!!!!

      RIGHT THOUGH?!?!? Like why doesn't it seep into my very being and STAY THERE?! WHHHHhhhHhhHhhHhhYYYYyyyyYyY?!?!?!?

      That story was fantastic. I NEED TO STOP TOO. WHY ARE HUMANS SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okokok

      thank you again for your uber sweet comment. ily ok<3

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  11. Wow Aaliyah thanks for screaming at my heart hahahaha really needed that!! Love you girl:) God is using you in mighty ways:)

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    1. Thank you so much, Becca :) You always uplift me :)

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  12. Okay, everybody needs to hear this.
    First of all, I just love how this post is laid out. So beautiful.
    Secondly, I love the ending thoughts. What if life wasn't so much about comparsion? What if we could all just rest in who we are as children of God? I guess the trap of comparsion is how God can draw us closer to Himself. He always uses evil for His good and I'm thankful. (Even though we choose to fall into the trap, he is faithful in it).
    Thanks again for this post, I will be reading it again for sure!

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment, Lauren!
      I really, really appreciate it. Yes! The ending thoughts still get me. And I wrote it! It's such an important thing to ponder.
      Thank you again for your comment and leaving your thoughts!!

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  13. What a touching post. <3 <3
    And WOW What a new and pretty design!! I love that pic of you! :)

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    1. Thank you ever so much, Ava!! You're a dear :)

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  14. Aaliyah, I just found your blog through your guest post on Abbie's blog and I'm now following. I just want to say, your blog is really inspiring. I read this post, and I think you have a point. It made me think, we were created in God's image for heaven's sake! If we don't think that WE are sufficient, does that mean we don't believe God's grace is sufficient to make us capable of great things?

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    1. Hey there, Elizabeth! Thank you so much for following!! I agree entirely! I loved hearing your points!!

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  15. Hey there! Can I just say that I am a HUGE fan of yours. This post was 100% relatable and beautiful. I have been struggling a lot with the feeling of inadequacy lately too so this post was just perfect. I have been trying and failing at finding a job recently and, though I know it's not, I keep feeling like it's because I am not good enough. But I know that's not the truth. Also, I love how you write and the pictures to match this post were perfect. <3

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    1. Hey, Sophie!! Welcome!! OHMYGOODNESS :""""") That made me ridiculously happy. Thank you thank you thank you! Inadequacy is such a common feeling and I really wish it wasn't a thing. I just wonder what people would do or what confidence they would have in themselves if it wasn't. Thank you again for your sweet comment! Hope to see you back here soon!

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  16. "What if you didn't compare yourself to others? What if you believed in yourself? What if fear wasn't a thing?"

    Man, this post cuts to the soul. It makes me wonder. Wonder what the /living/ would be like if I acted in assurance of the perfect love of Christ giving me the much more kind of life (Romans 5).

    Because I compare myself to others ALL OF THE STINKING TIME! And when I can't compare myself to others, I compare myself to past versions of myself or idealized future versions of myself (weird, I know). But the truth is, when compared to God, WE ALL STINK. And so however much we try to be /okay/, we will never reach it.

    Good think God offers us /great/ as a gift of grace!

    And His perfect love drives out fear.

    But we are scared. We are scared to let go of these comparisons that have grounded us for so long and measure our lives. What would we be without them? We are scared to /live/.

    I'm learning. I'm learning to let go of these comparisons and /live/ in the ways God has enabled me. Thank you soooo much for this post of encouragement. And to know that I'm not alone. And to know that I'm not the only one that types up blog post primarily so that I can learn from them.

    Praying for you girl!

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    1. AHHH HANNAH!!! YES YES YES YES YES TO EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID!

      But we are scared. We are scared to let go of these comparisons that have grounded us for so long and measure our lives. What would we be without them. We are scared to live. >>> THIS. I completely get this.

      ASDFGHJKL I JUST LOVE YOUR COMMENT SO MUCH DITTO TO EVERYTHING!!!

      <3

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