IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY (BUT DON'T LET THAT STEAL YOUR JOY)



I'm just going to be honest with you.

Things are not completely alright right now. This is not an invitation to my Pity Party. I really almost didn't even post this. And I know, I just posted a really vulnerable and "HERE IS ALL MY FEELS TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT" post, but oh well. I'm not perfect, and you need to be reminded of that, haha!

A lot of things have been going on lately that I really don't feel like needs to be posted all over the internet, lol, but it has left me really disappointed and hurt and very confused. Just one of those things where you miss how things used to be, but you know this is what needs to happen, too much drama, and so many emotions and confusion that you don't even know what to do or how to act.

I feel like while writing this and the times I've opened up to a few people I'm close to, I'm making it sound like I'm really depressed and that's not the case. Actually, I am in the best point of my life right now. I think I'm going to write another post soon about my season of depression and getting out of that soon to explain this better. I have found a peace and joy in the Lord that I don't think I've ever felt before. But it doesn't matter how joyful you are, life will still throw things your way.



But I'm not here to whine.
The point is is that I have a God who can heal all this hurt.
My God will never disappoint me.
He never causes confusion.
And if he stabs my heart with anything, it's going to be with love.
He is One I can trust.
And no matter what comes my way, I know he is going to work it out because he holds my future in His hands. All I have to do is do my part in serving Him how I'm supposed to. He will sort out all the kinks, untie all the tangled threads. And honestly, the only way I'm staying afloat is because I know that no matter what, I can trust in this truth.


<< G O D ' S   G O T   T H IS >>




It's okay to hurt. It's okay to cry.
And on that note, don't ever hold back tears. Just don't. Some people think crying is a weakness, or they just hate crying, but don't. Cry. Trust me, it helps.
Lately, I haven't been able to cry. I've had every emotion at one time, it feels like. I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm disappointed, I'm hurt, I'm stressed, and even through all those awful emotions, I'm still joyful and peaceful. It's a crazy whirlwind of emotions, wow.
I can't cry. I feel like I have so many contradicting emotions that it's causing me to just be overwhelmed and not know what to do. Crying helps me. I don't know why, but it does. So I try to cry, but I can't. I just can't. And that just causes even more frustration to build up, lol. So a couple nights ago, when I finally could cry, I was literally sobbing. I haven't sobbed like that in.... Wow, I couldn't even tell you when. But it helped. Sometimes you just need to stay up sobbing until 2am. It just cleanses your soul, y'all. CRYING HELPS. CRYING IS NOT A WEAKNESS. TRUST ME. ❤



Back to what I was saying originally, it's okay to not be okay. But don't let that steal your peace and joy. The devil will use any misfortunate circumstance to try to make you feel depressed and hopeless, but guess what, love? You have authority and power over the enemy. You are an heir to the throne and you have full ability to throw him out of your mind. Don't let him whisper lies in your ear.

My pastor gave a wonderful analogy at church the other night. When you are in full armor (as you should be, right ;) Ephesians 6:11) and the enemy is in your ear, you can lift your arm and hit him with your sword. And, as I'm sure you know, the Bible is your sword. Defeat the enemy with the Word. If he is telling you lies, you fight back. Quote scripture. If you are fighting a battle, you have to constantly stay in the Word and feed yourself with truth. Because I know at least for me, as soon as I don't, I start to believe the lies. Don't let that happen!


<< Y O U   H A V E   A U T H O R I T Y   A N D   P O W E R   O V E R   T H E   E N E M Y >>



This post is seriously all over the place, but I felt the need to write. I actually haven't been able to write. Not even journal. I just.. can't. So this felt very good to get this off my chest. I love you all so much. Thank you for being so encouraging to me. 💙
DISCLAIMER AGAIN: I am okay. I am not in any way depressed, I'm just being really raw and honest with you all! I hope this can be an encouragement. 
STAY STRONG. KEEP GOING.
-aaliyah

19 comments :

  1. This is a perfect post. I feel like the holidays can always get busy and you can pretend that nothing is wrong and sing jingle bells all day long BUT it won't do you good. Sometimes the only thing that can make you feel better is embracing the sad feeling within you!

    You are strong and wise and you will figure this out my friend! Like you said, which is so correct, God is with you and God got this! Love ya!

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    1. Vanessa, thank you so much for your kind words!! It's a wonderful feeling to have blogger friends who are with you and for you! :) Love you back!! <3

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  2. WE ARE THE SAME.

    okay Im like in the same boat right now and its wild. like its so weird being so happy and filled with Christ's joy but I also feel like Im dying. at the same time.
    thats the only way I can explain it. lol.

    thank you for being honest. I love reading posts that are real. its refreshing. I never felt like you were complaining either, if thats what you were worried about.

    and yes girl, ITS OKAY TO CRY.

    Im saying a prayer for you right now and sending virtual hugs as someone who is hurting alongside you. we got this. us with God? we totally got this.

    stay strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. (thats from that chapter in Ephesians :) )

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    1. ASDFHGJKL REALLY?!?!?!?

      EXACTLY. THAT FIRST PARAGRAPH. *nodding violently* I understand completely!

      Oh my goodness, you are so welcome. It's crazy because I used to never post so vulnerably before but now it's getting really easy to do so. I think I've realized that you all are people just like me and you struggle with some of the same things!! It's awesome, honestly. And I agree, it is super refreshing.

      YES TOTALLY ALL FOR THE CRYING <3

      Thank you so much for the prayers :') wow :') So grateful.

      YES! With God, we can do ALL things :))

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  3. I FEEL THE SAME WAY, AALIYAH!

    All of these points really spoke to me. Thank you! :)

    With love and all joy,
    Allie D.
    www.alliesblogdesigns.blogspot.com
    www.friendlovesatalltimes.blogspot.com
    www.sincerelyallied.blogspot.com
    www.spreadingmyjoy.blogspot.com

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    1. UGH I'M SO HAPPY BUT ALSO SAD THAT THIS WAS RELATABLE HAHA IF THAT MAKES SENSE *laughing emojis*

      You're so welcome lovely! Praying for you :)

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  4. We've already talked about this a ton but I just wanted to say that this is beautiful and I love you. ❤ Keep fighting, you supernova you. You inspire me.

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  5. i honestly love this so much because i can relate perfectly to this right now...

    You literally have the perfect way of putting things i just relate so jhard.
    ilysm<3

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    1. Ugh, thank you so much. Your words mean SO much to me :) pretty sure I love you more but ok lolololololololol MWAH!

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  7. Girl, you are speaking so much truth! I totally feel you when you say that life is throwing so many things at you, so many hard things, and yet you've never been better. It's almost as if life is reminding us that we are /alive/ and that's where we find true joy, in living in God's grace and joy.

    And I have to cry, ugly two in the morning cry, once a month. It really does help.

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    Replies
    1. Wow, yes. Exactly!!!

      And it really truly does help <3

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting, love :)

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  8. YOUR BLOG IS A SHINING LIGHT OF TRUTH AND AUTHENTICITY AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH. THANK YOU FOR THESE GOLDEN REMINDERS. I'M PRAYING FOR YOU, BABE <3

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    1. OH MY GOODNESS. LITERALLY THE BEST COMPLIMENT EVER. THANK YOU IM SOBBING!!!!!
      I love YOU so much *cries even more* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU <3

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  9. I admire you so much for putting all this out there and sharing it with everyone! And whatever obstacles are blocking your path, know I'm praying for you, love <3
    -Abby
    quillsandcurtsies.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you SO much, Abby. I can't even stress that enough :) You are so welcome. Thank YOU for reading and commenting and encouraging me! And for your prayers! Much love <3

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  10. fam i was lowkey stalking your blog and i forgot to ask if you could change my URL in your friends tab pllssss :)))
    also i miss your posts. like pls come back.

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