a little ramble on new years eve

well. its that time again. New Years Eve. I always have mixed feelings about today..
part of me is excited to see a new year, but then another huge part of me is really sad.
by now everyone is probably like, "wwhat?"
I am, as my friend so accurately described today, "freakishly sentimental" (*wink*)
I am always sad on this day, because I have an extreme fear of not enjoying things to its fullest.
for instance: I want to cry when I think about the fact that I probably won't remember every little cute thing my baby sister says and does five, even three years from now. It really saddens me.
so today, I always have the thoughts running through my head, "did I enjoy every single second? will I regret something about this year?" the thought that I can never re-live 2015 makes me think.
this probably sounds really crazy and extreme, but its something I constantly do. I was sad on Christmas Day because it was going to end. same on my birthday. Its always apart of my thinking. sometimes I reallllyyy hate it. I am so worried about if I am enjoying it to its fullest, instead of.. well.. enjoying it to its fullest.
but I also think its beneficial thinking because it causes me to want to enjoy things even MORE.
life is a definite maybe. death is for sure. we have a very short time to live. we could be here one second, and then gone the next. that easy. as fast as you can snap your fingers. I don't want to just live. I want to LIVE. I very often use a hashtag for my instagram pictures that is simply "#LIVE". I want to LIVE with no regrets of the things I wish I had done. Life is a beautiful occasion.
so,
eat that cupcake.
always kiss goodnight.
never say "no" to a new adventure.
listen to your favorite song a million times, even if that means you get tired of it.
cuddle tighter.
always say, "I love you"
laugh uncontrollably.
dare to dream bigger.
count blessings, not calories.
have fun. even if you look like an idiot in the process.
plant flowers.
carpe that diem.
never stop showing people how much you care.
read 'til 3am.
kiss baby cheeks.
sit in a field and make flower crowns.
send balloons to the sky.
go stargazing.
LIVE.

<< Aaliyah >>

a peek into my life via instagram

ciao guys! long time, no see! life has been really busy lately with the holidays and whatnot, but i am hoping to get back in full-swing blogging mode because my parents graciously gifted me with a mini laptop for Christmas! so to start this new blogging season, I figured it would be appropriate to share some life updates and I am an Instagram lover and share almost daily, so I have lots of memories on there!




So for about six weeks, our homeschool co-op had a 50's dance class! Boy, was that fun! I don't claim to be a good dancer, but I can now safely say I have mastered the east-coast swing dance. ;)


And here is the result of the dance classes! My childhood dream of a sock hop finally came true! so we dressed up in our best fifties attire, and danced the night away! it was loads and loads of fun. This is me and my good friend Alivia behind me!

on November 27th, my baby niece turned one! crazy how time flies.

In early December i attended our annual Christmas parade for the first time since I was 7!

our homeschool co-op had a rollerskating Christmas party! ah, i miss that day.

this is a stained glass window that over-shadows some reading chairs at our public library. i love it.


I met these two this year. (Jacy, me, then Alivia) I've known JacyRayn for a year in February, and Alivia this September! they are both bloggers (links in names), and we are already tightly-knitted :) I give you The Three Musketeers! Haha! #jayliviyah (just realized i actually never posted this on Instagram. Oh whale. :P)


I hosted my 3rd annual Christmas party this year! I vote it was the funnest one yet! A lot of people couldnt      make it which was sad, but we also had Jacy and Alivia as our newcomers, and we had a blast. We played our traditional game of Dirty Santa, did some draw prizes and more games, and then just hung out and even had an unplanned dance party! Alivia and I did our 50's swing dance, and Jacy taught us some contra! It was all-in-all a really fun day.


                                               Shalom turned 2 on Christmas Eve! What?! How?!


Ah. Christmas Day. It was wonderful. I was blessed beyond measure and miss it already.


Most recent update: last night (Dec. 25th) I seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens! I got home at almost 1am but it was soooo worth it. Man it was good. Also heart-wrenching.... Also funny. No words for this movie.


Well I hope you enjoyed this little snippet of my life these past two months! You will hear from me very soon!

Aaliyah
xoxo

surprise, surprise!

I've already posted this on Instagram, but I forget that not all of you follow me! 
so here's the news! 
Yep! My momma is pregnant with our 9th! She is about 12 weeks along, and will be due in May. The doctors said everything looks perfect which was a HUGE relief due to the many miscarriages we've had before. We are thrilled! So grateful. It's the perfect healing to my moms most recent miscarriage this Summer (which I also forgot to mention. Oops.)
Just thought I'd let you know! Thank you to all who are rejoicing with us! 

-A.M
XOXO

// is your mind in the right place? //

yesterday, we went and did a family day trip. it was quite random, because it was a Tuesday and I thought my dad would have already been gone to work by the time I awoke, but to my surprise he woke me up and said, "hey get up! Haha we are going to go so somethin' today so get dressed alright?" and a sleepy, groggy-headed reply from me, "okay".
so we loaded up in the van, and we were told we were going to Cumberland Falls. Which I was really happy about because I hadn't been there but once, and when I did go, I was to young to remember. None of us (especially me!) were really dressed appropriately for it, but we were ready to go! And we were off. We got there, and it was beautiful, and it amazed me and that's a whole other post in itself. But back to my story. We got home, got some showers, and settled in the living room for our nightly devotions. My youngest sister, Shalom, picked up her Bible with excitement (she loves Bible time) and headed to the living room. One of my brothers had just went out to the van and got her dress-up shoes that se had bought at the gift shop and brung them inside. I said, "Shalom! Come see your pretty shoes!" but she continued to flip the pages of her Bible with her tiny hands and showed no interest to the shoes she was so thrilled about just a few hours before. 
It got me thinking....
We should be like that. 
We should be so involved with God and his Word that the things of the world don't even spark an interest in us. 
So again, I ask the question. Are our minds in the right place? Is MY mind in the right place. Do I think about God as much as I think about other things? Do I pray as much as I text? Do I read my Bible just as much as I read my favorite novel? It's a hard and humbling question. 
It's so easy to get distracted by clothes, social media, friends, anything. 
But we have to keep our mind on Him. It's not in any way, shape, form or fashion, EASY..... But.... We should. He deserves it doesn't He? He deserves so much more than we could ever give Him. 
I don't really know where I'm going with this, but it has been on my mind ever since last night. 
So I'll end with this: 
Remember. You are IN the world, not OF it. Be heavenly minded. And pray for me, because I struggle with this. And I'll pray for you that your mind is ever-fixed on Him. Okay? Okay. :) 



-Aaliyah
xoxo

// elegant blogger award //

The rules for this particular award, the ‘Elegant Blogger Award’, are featured below…
I realized I was nominated for this quite awhile back, but never did it!
And also, I haven't been tagged for anything in awhile and I miss the blog-tagging-circle that used to be crazy
popular a couple years back! or maybe they still are, and I am just oblivious.
yeah I am probably just oblivious. :-/

When you receive the award, you must link back to the blog that nominated you.
Answer all of the twelve standard questions listed by the blogger who created the award.
Nominate five other bloggers you think should receive the ‘Elegant Blogger Award’.
Notify them that they have been awarded.

The Questions…

What made you decide to start blogging?

Back in 2011, I believe, My older sister, Amber, started her blog,
and so I was jealous, honestly, so I started one! I thought it was weird
for a 10 (at the time) year old girl to start a blog, but once I did start it, I found LOTS
of girls my age, from all around the world!  
As I got older, I turned into
also wanting a place where I could publically share my thoughts,
instead of just it being a public log of what I had been up too.
 

What is your fashion style?
Wow. This is so difficult to answer.
When I was younger, I lived in the color pink.
I was probably the girly-est kid on the planet.
But now, I like more darker colors, graphic tees, combat boots, etc.
What you would probably describe as "hipster", but I don't fit in that category to a T either.
I am a mix of everything I believe.
I defiantly dress very casual.
 
Where is your favorite places to shop?
Rue21 (they have FAB graphic tees), Cato, (for the rare occasion I dress up), 
 and does band shirts count? I think so.

What would your ideal amount of blog followers be?
 
My goal is to have 200 followers, and then I will be content. haha!
I dream to have more someday.

What are your talents?
I actually hate this question because I am NOT the type of person who can
easily brag about what they can do well.
But, I am a musician, singer, typographer, photographer, crafter
and writer, though I don't claim to be fab at any of them.
 
Are you a leader or a follower?
Wow this is tough.
I am the oldest child at home right now, so I am a leader at times,
but I also hate being the leader.
I like to be on the side lines, and watch and follow.
I don't enjoy being the center of attention.
What is one of your favorite quotes?
 
I am a quote-lover extremist.
Go a little back in my posts and there's a whole post
with about 10 I love.

Do you have a favorite book or book series?
 
I loveeeee reading!
I am currently working on finishing "Little Women" which I am loving.
I had always loved the movie (the newest version), but never read the book!
I also love "October Baby" (along with the movie), "One Night with the King" by Tommy Tenney and
"Stepping Heavenward" by Elizabeth Prentiss.

 
What is your favorite flower?

Ah. Flowers.
I love roses because they are the flowers my dad never fails to get me
for my birthday (the age I am determines how many roses I get), and valentines day, and
they just remind me of special memories, but my favorite would probably have to be peonies!

What is something none of your followers know about you?
 
Um. Well.
I'm not to interesting of a person so not much.
HAHA!
But, a lot of people are surprised by this because i'm a girl (stereotypes I guess) and apparently
loving StarWars is weird.
But yes, I am a girl, who watches StarWars for pleasure.
 
I nominate:
JacyRayn from "Loud and Clear"
Becca from "In Every Season"
Kathryn (so happy you're blogging again girl!) from "Chatty Kathy"
And anyone else who wants to take it!
 
Enjoy!
 
Aaliyah xoxo
 
 
 
 
 

// hey.yes, im still alive. //

well hello little blog.

its been exactly a month since i last posted.
ugh.

i have a couple worship songs i have seriously LOVED since i don't really have much to write about at the moment. nor the time frankly. life has been so crazy. so ill leave you to enjoy my greatest passion and hobby, music.


In Over My Head - Bethel

Ever Be - Bethel

Desert Song - Hillsong United

Deliverer - Matt Maher
(kinda more a praise-y song but hey)

No Longer Slaves - Bethel
(can you tell i love Bethel Music?)


Aaliyah xoxo

// "okay" //

i have often previously asked myself the question, 

"am i "okay" with God?"

hmm. 
what a rough spot to be in.

I personally hope I am never "okay" with God. 

I want to be more than that. 
I want to be on FIRE for God. 
not just questioning if i'm okay. 
sometimes we get this mindset that as long as we can make it into heaven by the skin 
of our teeth, we are fine. 
but, wheres the purpose in that? 
we make it in, but we have no treasures to lay at God's feet. 
we have nothing to show. 
I think that would be pretty.. shameful. 
so instead of worrying how far is to far, how about, how close can we get?!
this life isn't about us anyways. 
we are here for one purpose, and one purpose only. to give Him glory. 
giving your entire life up to God is "our reasonable service". 
and sometimes, or should i say a lot of times, that means giving many things you like up. 
but that's okay. 
we aren't here for ourselves anyway! 
we need to learn to be okay with giving our all. 
actually more than okay. 
learn to be happy to give your all. 
sometimes this means to go overseas and be a missionary with the risk of your life, 
or it might be that you have special talents to use, or giving up something you have, or like.
It can be big or small. 
both are equally as important when done with true obedience.
I strive for this, myself. 
I want to be the person who is thrilled at the thought of even dying for Jesus' name. 
I want to be so far gone in Him that nothing can distract me. 
I want my eyes to be fixed on Him, and Him alone. 

stay on fire. 
never be lukewarm. 
never, ever, lose your wonder for Him. 


Aaliyah xoxo


// forgiveness //

its not an easy task.
we are told to forgive, but sometimes its easier said than done. 
i've experienced that personally alot.

but i was recently reminded of a beautiful picture. 
Jesus on the cross.
even when the soldiers were beating him cruelly, so cruelly we probably couldn't put into words, people spat in His face, and mocked Him for something He was innocent of, His words were:
"Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do."

i don't know about you guys, but one of my biggest things that aggravates me about people, is either lying about me, or accusing me of something they either have no evidence of, or isn't true to begin with.  it really gets under my skin. and sadly, people do that to me often.
i get so upset and angry and ask, "what did i ever do to them?!"
but instead of holding a grudge, or being unforgiving, i have learned to forgive.
i deal with this to often than i would like to have too.
i don't know why, but almost every "friend" ive ever had except the few i have been able to
weed out, always back-bite me, and treat me wrongly, when i have done no wrong to them.
it hurts. a lot. 
people will  wrong you. it happens.
should they? no.
but they do.
i'm not saying AT ALL i am even near perfect in this area.
but you will have a whole lot happier life when you learn to forgive.
people have literally chewed me out before over something i didn't even do,
but you know what i do?
i smile, and respond with "okay. well, ill talk to you later! i love you!"
so instead of feeding it, which is what the person usually wants you to do,
throw it back at them with kindness! it works every time i promise ;)
for some, there are bigger problems that they have that requires forgiveness.
for some, smaller.
but either way, being forgiving is always something we should strive to do.
"A soft answer turneth away wrath." Proverbs 15:1

but back to the Jesus picture.
so many times we think forgiveness is so hard. (and it is but just stay with me ;) )
but Jesus went through SO much. yet, He never was angry with them.
it amazes me.
Jesus is, and always will be the perfect example of how our character should be.

i don't exactly know where i'm going with this, but its just something that has been on
my heart and i thought i would share.

xoxo A.M.

// worship wednesday //

wow i should win a "Worst Blogger" award.
I forgot "Music Monday" once again.
Things have just been SO crazy lately. With a family moving in, we've had to help unpack them, and just all the things that come along with having 20 people in my small house, is a challenge, which is why my blog has been pushed to the bottom of my to-do list.

So this week, I have yet another Lauren Daigle song, cause shes fab.
This song is really amazing and I love it!

"I am Yours" by Lauren Daigle.



Aaliyah xoxo

// music monday //

itttsssss music monddayyyyyyy!!!!

todays song is "By our Love" by my favorite band, For King and Country.
I love this song so much. 
enjoy!
(sorry for the short post, i am doing this quickly!)



Aaliyah Marie
xoxo


// changes //

so!

i know i just started back with the frequent posting but, i'm afraid it might not be so often again.

we have family friends (a family of 10 as well.) who is moving in with us today, from Alabama until they find a home. i don't know how long this will be. it may be a short time, or it may be long.

i will still post, but it may not be everyday, because it will literally be like the Duggar's living in my tiny house!

i will try as often as i can to post!
pray that everything goes smoothly, and we don't go nuts! haha!





A.M.
xoxo

// thoughts on journaling //

i post previous journal entries pretty frequently on this blog.
i get questions from friends a lot asking what i write about, and why.
so in case you were wondering the same thing, here you go.
and if you weren't.... then... at least it gave me something to post? hehe
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i love journaling.
it started on March 28th, 2012.
my first entry.
I was an eleven-year-old girl, who just wanted to be like Anne Frank, and have a journal too.
(i'm telling you, i lived in history. it was, and still is my favorite.)
at first, it was just something i did every once in awhile, to log what i had been up to.
but it turned into so much more.

some people picture journaling as the thing teenage girls do to write about boys,
and secrets, and why they are mad at so and so.
its not like that for me.
in fact, mine is more of a prayer journal than anything.

I am one who can not easily express my feelings to others openly and freely.
its a really hard thing for me to do.
if you are into personality types, i am an INFJ, if you didn't already figure that out. ;)
a lot of times, i have SO much more going on in my head, than i speak.
journaling helped with that.
i could openly express myself without the fear of saying it to an actual individual.
i get scared just thinking about trying to share things with others.
its not even necessarily a trust issue, but more of a fear you won't understand me.
so for me, finding friends that understand without you having to say much, is a treasure.
and for me to have found one lately, has given me indescribable joy.



journaling didn't really mean that much to me until i started getting older.
a lot of things happened the year i was eleven.
the major thing, and the hardest, was my older sister moving out.
most people look at me like i'm crazy when i was depressed when my sister moved out.
i mean, 18 year old's do it all the time right?
it was different.
my sister wanted to go and party, and "live it up", and i knew that.
and that's exactly what she did.
she didn't want to be around my parents, and i didn't know when i would ever see her again.
we were so close.
the bond we had was incredible.
even though we are 6 years apart, that never was an issue.
i loved my sister more than anything.
i was closer to her than i was to anyone, so it was extremely hard for me when she moved.
i lost my best friend.
i see her more frequently now because of my niece, but its still not the same.
to be able to pour my heart out to God, and beg Him to bring her back to Him was what i needed.
i had so many feelings locked up that needed out.
it was a relief to be able to do that.

then the dark stage i went through.
for months and months, and months, i wrote.
it felt like i wrote the same thing every time, but it helped.
when i could get all my feelings out, i could have peace for awhile.
i would journal and pray, and plead to God to lift this from me, at the same time.
and when that finally did pass, i  wrote for months and months praising God.
I would cry tears of joy as i did.

another big reason i journal, is so if i am privileged to have children one day, they can look
back on my writings and see all i went through, and how by Gods faithfulness, i came out.
how i grew in Christ, and different scenarios that happened.
my favorite thing to do is to look back on my old journals, and read what i wrote.
i love to see the way i thought about things, and what i thought was important.
i realize that probably two years from now, i will look back and think the same thing
about what i'm writing about now.
i love to watch how i've learned and grown.
sometimes i do wish, however, that i could be the eleven-year-old, who didn't really
contemplate things too much, and lived life simply.


i love you guys.

Aaliyah xoxo

// qoutes/scriptures i love //








Aaliyah
xoxo
*all credits to pinterest*

// worship wednesday //

so blogger props to me.
i forgot "music monday". *annoyed emoji here*

So this will have to do!

"Wasteland" by NEEDTOBREATHE

I have been loving this song.
it speaks to me.
it reminds me alot of the dark time i went through (post below).
my favorite line of the song is:

"yeah in this wasteland, where im livin' there is a crack in the door filled with light,
and its all that i need to shine yeah in this wasteland, where im livin' there is a crack in 
the door filled with light, and its all that i need to get by." 

Just hold on to that hope of the light at the end of the tunnel.
it will come.
i hope you will enjoy this song as much as i did.




Aaliyah xoxo

// top ten favorite blogs //

Hey guys :))))) I wasn't really sure about what i wanted to post, but as i was reading some blogs,
i thought i would mention my favorites so you can check them out! 
Please remember that these are in NO order whatsoever, of how well i like them.
i honestly just choose the one that came up first on my blogging list *laughing emoji here*
theres..uh..no shame in being lazy right?! hehehe
(click on the blog name, and it will take you directly to it!)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I loveeeee this blog. 
from her outfit posts, to her coffee talks, to her DIY's!
She writes SO well and clearly, and all her photos are just amazing. 
I love the clean, sleek, design as well. 
She also has a Youtube channel which i watch from time-to-time!


wow. 
so many things i could say about this girl, but not enough time.
besides the fact that ive known her since the beginning of my blogging journey in 2011,
and she is the best South African friend i could ever ask for, she has a FABULOUS blog!
she writes the most beautiful, touching, poetry i have ever read. 
her photography is astonishing. 
trust me when i say, follow her, you wont regret it.



I've known the girl behind the blog, Britt, for years now.
She is soooo sweet. 
But her blog, is just great. The title pretty much explains her blog, but read it. 
its amazing. so, so, so, encouraging.


4. In Every Season
This girl.
I've known her for many years now, and she was actually one of my first followers!
I love her to death.
Her blog is so cute, and its filled with pretty astounding photography.
She is yet another one of my long distance friends, and she is very close to my heart.
Her writing. AH.
Jesus shines through her so brightly.
I LOVE YOU BECCERS!


5. Kianna Rose Etc. (formally, Kiannas Korner)
i might as well say, ive known all these bloggers for a long time,
so i can just stop saying it.
Kianna is great. Her passion for the Lord is undeniable. 
She recently started her blog back up, and i am so excited!
She writes great stuff. 
And we dont even have to mention her photography skills k?


(i realize i just mentioned this blog awhile back. i don't care. its great.)
AAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
Besides the fact that the author is my best friend, its a purely *radical* (winks) blog.
Jacy, my dear. blog forever okay?!
All of her posts are above and beyond encouraging.
Every time i read her blog, i feel lifted up. 
Her writing is so great. 
I think.. i may.. have commented on almost every single post?... don't mind that. 
I'M JUST A HUGE FAN OKAY.



Its a photography blog.
the pictures are just amazing.
follow it.



Madeline doesn't post as often as she used to, 
but when you combine very frequent awkward and awesome posts, 
and great photography, its always a good thing. 




I have the privilege of knowing Julianna, personally.
Shes just great, as is her blog.
She recently just picking blogging back up, and i love it!
again, her pictures tho. *heart eyed emoji*
GO SHOW HER SOME LOVE!



lastly, but defiantly not least, Katie Davis' blog.
If you've read "Kisses from Katie", you know who i'm talking about. 
I love this blog, because i can see how her ministry has continued, 
and i loved her book so, so, much. 
i've read it about 3 times now. 
She recently just got married to a man that is in the same work she is in, 
and its just so sweet to see her life. 


I hope you enjoy these blogs!
Aaliyah

awkward and awesome thursday.

its been quite awhile since I've done a post like this, so i thought i would do it!
enjoy learning about my recent events.
trust me, i have plennnntttyyyy more things that fall under the "awkward" section.



AWKIES:

-going into a McDonalds out of town (quite a ghetto one i might add), and ordering the
 same thing you always get and have them say "uh we don't have that." and me, "um.. umm.."
 and we sit there staring at each other for like, i dunno, two minutes?
*insert annoyed emoji face here*

-running into people you were friends with in your childhood, and not sure if they recognize
you or not, so you kinda just keep looking their way to make sure they *don't* recognize you,
 so if they do, they don't think you are just being rude. ya feel?

-walking into a bookstore, stopping in your tracks, and deeply inhaling (DEEPLY) the amazing smell, and people all around you staring. yeah. that happens to me a lot.

- on with more bookstore adventures, finding "The Princess Bride" fan-gear, and while fangirling, you find out your grandma has no idea what that movie is. then of course, you scream
 "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THE PRINCESS BRIDE DKFNDKSNMCALDN"
 and everyone stares, once again.

-waking up, and walking upstairs, still in your pajamas, your hair in a crazy bun, basically
 a sloth, only to find your mom invited company over and you had no idea.
 anddd it happens three days in a row.

-when you are the kind of person who likes pleasing other people, over what you actually
 want to do, things can get... well... here.

person: "which ________ do you want?"
me: "oh, uh. whatever you want, i really don't care."
person: "well i don't care either sooo,,"
me: "uhhhhhhh... well... i mean,,,"
person: "i don't care, honestly."
me: "well i dont honestly care either, so just pick."
person: "for real. i.dont.care."
me: "me either."
person: "JUST PICK ONE OKAY"
me: *picks what i think the other person actually wants even though i may hate it*

-when you are an avid thinker, and so when you are just sitting around, your parents think you're
 sad all the time, when in all honesty, you are thinking of all sorts of things like,
planning get-togethers with friends, trying to remember what you dreamed about last night,
or what you're going to eat for lunch. sometimes they are more important things.

-when your laugh is loud and annoying.
WHY COULDN'T I HAVE INHERITED A CUTE LAUGH AND HANDWRITING.
and maybe a higher pitched voice...

-wearing black during summer and then wonders "why am i so hot?!"




AWESOME SAUCE:

-late (llaatteeee)  night, heart-to-heart talks with your best friend. need I say more? *winks*

-seeing friends that you've prayed for, for so long, starting to find God, and realize their need for Him.

-cuddling at night with little sisters. they are crazy, sassy, rotten, and rambunctious, but i love them so much.

-iced coffee. chocolate-covered coffee beans, coffee in general, again, need I say more?

-music. *shivers*

-sunsets

-the smell of my youth leaders car. its *RADICAL*. *winks again* (maybe this should fall under my lists of quirks? yeah.)

-mid-day snacks. especially whens its banana bread.







music monday..

hey guys! I hope you all are enjoying the more frequent posting!
It is challenging, but I hope to try my hardest to pick up the slack!

For this weeks "Music Monday" I have an amazingggg worship song, which also happens to be my Dad's favorite, and he blasts it as loud as the volume in his truck will go every time it plays! haha!
enjoy, and listen closely. its such a good song.

"Dry Bones" by Lauren Daigle


keep the faith.

"keep the faith"

that phrase means a lot to me.

i went through i very dark period in my life... and it was long. 
most nights i cried myself to sleep. 
i asked God "why" every day. 
i just wanted to scream.
i could give you journal entry, upon journal entry, of me pouring my heart out to God. 
i honestly didn't, and still don't know exactly what i was struggling with. 
i felt alone.
i felt worthless.
i thought no one cared if i lived or died. 
it was a very difficult feeling. 
i couldn't figure my feelings out. 
if you asked me what my problem was, i probably wouldn't be able to tell you. 

but i pressed on. 
i wanted to give up.. but i didn't. 
i held on to Gods promises to get me through. 
i don't know exactly how long this time lasted, but it felt like an eternity. 

but one day, ah. 

one day as we were worshiping in church one Sunday, the chains broke.the weight was lifted,
and i felt closer to God than i ever had. 
it was a truly amazing feeling. 
i cried and cried and thanked God for pulling me through. 
the clouds were lifted. 
for the first time in forever i was truly happy, 
not to say i never go through rough patches, but i learned so much about keeping the faith, 
and seeking God, finding hope, and never giving up, and ultimately letting Satan know that MY GOD IS STRONGER than anything he could ever throw my way. 
Satan is nothing. 
never let him have power. 
God will only put you through things he KNOWS you can handle. 
always remember that. 

you may not always know the answers, but that's okay. cause i know a God who does. 
-Aaliyah

a old prayer journal entry....

i got told the other day that one of my so-called "friends", that i am "too nice",
i laughed out loud!
i am grateful that thats the reason she doesnt like me.
i dont like to be unliked, but that gives me a hope that You are shining through me.
You said i would be persecuted.
I would rather the world hate me because of You, than be famous without You.
In You i have hope.
You hold me in Your hands and hug me with a warm embrace.
Because of You, i have a brighter tomorrow.
You have sustained my every need and Your grace overwhelms me.
Your love is just indescribable.
Let Your light shine through me in such an amazing way, that people stop and wonder what I have.
Help me to be willing to risk everything for You and never look back.
Let me be an encourager to others, and a lantern to show them the way in the dark.
Help me to be loving, and even more condsiderate.
Make me a bright, and beautiful flower, coming out of dark soil with thorns all around.
Let me glisten in your sunlight, and dance in your beautiful rain.
Help me to cherish every moment of this wonderful life you've given me.
I could go on and on.
But most of all, help me love You with an unconditional, crazy, amazing love.
A bond that would be impossible to break, no matter how hard the tugging.
You are worth any trials I may go through.
Just the thought of You makes me smile.
I'm so glad you adopted me as Your own and call me by name.
I strive to be Your humble servant who is obedient in all things.
I love you so much, Daddy.

Aaliyah

be you.

you.

its such a one-of-a-kind thing.
no one else could ever be you if they tried.
and that's pretty cool.

NEVER be afraid to be yourself.
don't conform to others molds.
you are unique and that's okay.
its actually more than okay.
God made you perfect just the way you are.

this is something i struggle with SO much.
a lot of times, i feel very, very, insecure around new people, because i wonder what they will think of me.
i worry what they will think of my personality, my humor, even dumb things like my clothing.
its an easy thing to do.
i have to realize that i shouldn't worry about things like that.
God made me just the way i am and i shouldn't want to change that.
A LOT of times i look at other girls, and even my friends and think, "why are they so gorgeous all the time and i cant even take a selfie where i don't look like a dork?!?!"
but then i stop and realize, even though those feelings are still there, i shouldn't think that.
God took so much care into making me, and i am complain and basically saying He made me ALL wrong.
Its like this:
imagine if you spent all week on a gift for a friend. You put so much care and detail into the gift. You decorated it with all their favorite colors, and just knew they would love it!
Then, you give them the gift and they look at it and complain.
"Well, i saw this same gift somewhere else that looked so much better than this." or,
"couldn't you have done better?!?!"
Wouldn't you be hurt?! You spent so much time, and put so much love into it, for them to just complain and hate it.
Imagine how God must feel when we complain about our features or looks.

Insecurity is pretty much inevitable, but we should not let it overtake our minds.
God made YOU for a purpose NO ONE else can do. Do you realize that?!
Its such an important thing to remember.

so i'm going to end this with saying,
be you, fearlessly.
be a dork. dorks are the best kinda people in my opinion. I'M ONE!!!!
don't ponder what others may think of you. cause in all actuality, they probably like you more than you think.
always, always, ALWAYS, remember God made you for a reason, and no one can take your place.

Aaliyah

worship wednesday..


This weeks song is, "Touch the Sky" by Hillsong.

I love all of Hillsong's music so much, but this has been my absoulute hands down favorite lately.
The lyrics (in video) are just so beautiful and it is such a stunning worship song.
Enjoy!

Aaliyah

friendships..

I didn't honestly have any idea on what exactly i wanted to write about today..
i have no plan of how this is going to go, but i'm going with it.

I've been thinking a lot about friendships lately. It's something that most people don't reconginize as important but it really is essential..
But not just any friendships. 
I'm not talking about the 20 people you call friends who you don't know if you an trust, they talk behind your back sometimes, but you still hang out with them. Not them.

Everyone needs someone in their life who is a true friend, who you can pour your heart out too, someone you can count on getting encouragement from, share your hopes and fears too, someone who will lift you up, and ultimately bring you closer to God instead of farther away. 

If God has blessed you with someone like that thank Him. It's such an amazing thing. Never, ever, overlook it. 
Make sure that special friend in your life knows how much you care. 

Sometimes life drags us down. 
A lot actually. 
Having someone you're close too, to encourage, and you can talk too, is a huge blessing to have in times like that. 
Or even if you're not having a rough time, it's still amazing.


God gives the gift of friendship for a reason. For so many reasons that would take forever to talk about. 
A friend (winking emoji) recently reminded me of the story of David and Jonathan. The two of them have such a sweet friendship. I especially love this scripture about them: 

"As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul." 1 Samuel 18:1 (ESV) 
You see? True friendship is described here! David and Jonathan loved one another as themselves. (If you haven't, I would highly suggest reading about David. It's one of my favorites.)
Another great example of friendship is Jesus and His disciples. Jesus truly have his all to his friends. Everything. His knowledge of God, even His life. When you read about The Last Supper, He was in tears when He was telling them He would die. Jesus had such a strong relationship with His disciples that we should strive for in a friendship. 
So I guess what I'm saying here is, choose your friends wisely and find a true one. If you don't have one, or you feel like there's no hope, I assure you there is. God will provide, as He always does. Pray, pray, pray, for that. Cause I promise you, one true friend is better than thousands. 
Aaliyah 

Oh! Go check out my super, amazing, incredible friend, Jacy's blog by clicking HERE ! You won't regret it! 

hope.

somedays...
i just really don't want to deal with life.
i want to stay in my bed and not even attempt to face the day.

trials are hard.
trust me i know. 

there have been times i say "God. Do you even hear me?!"
even though i know he is there. 

sometimes i don't even know an exact reason i am having a rough time.
there's times my parents will ask me whats going on and i don't have an answer. 
all i can say is "its just been really hard lately."

somedays i feel alone in the dark with no light to show me where to go. 

but i am here to tell you, that you are not alone and you will be okay.
i have found that when i go through things, when they are over i am a stronger person because of it. 

you cant give up.
press on.
you will find the light at the end of the tunnel that everyone talks about. 
its not gonna be an easy journey, but it will come.
know that God is with you and He knows everything you have, and will go through.
know that Gods love exceeds beyond any word you can describe.

God only lets you go through trials He knows you can go through. 
Satan cannot tempt you more than you can bear. 

hold on to hope. 
and everyday vow to keep on keeping on. 

Aaliyah